Elizabeth Bennett and the Virtuous Woman {Proverbs 31:10}

There's that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Lizzy, Darcy, and the Bingley siblings are in the drawing room talking about what things would qualify a woman as being "accomplished." I love it, because after the (ridiculous) list of attributes is finished, Lizzy says to Mr. Darcy, "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."

This is how I feel after reading the Proverbs 31 list of virtuous attributes! Indeed, her price, value, worth, scarcity, would be far above rubies. I rather wonder now at my knowing any.

So, as we dig into these women of the Bible that define the modern day pursuit of "Biblical Womanhood," we may as well begin by defining the word that is so highly expected of us.

Virtuous- conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright

 

So.....a "goody-two shoes?" (Whatever that actually means...it's kind of a weird phrase.) Someone who is the "right" kind of girl, or a "good girl?"

 

Does it mean someone who never does anything bad, or pretty much has this good, Christian girl thing down pat? Someone who paints tables and is well versed in reading and writing? (The accomplished woman from Jane Austen's novels?)

 

My knee jerk reaction is to conjure up images of the sweetest little pastor's wife you ever did see when I think of the words "moral" and "upright."

 

But when really meditating on what would make someone moral and ethical, I think more along the lines of ethics in business, good politics, poverty alleviation, and awareness of the exploitation of vulnerable groups. I think of ways that I believe Christians should conduct themselves. I don't know about you, but for me that means having good character. It means doing what you say you will do, and not trying to "pull one over" or "step on" anybody to get ahead. It means business deals being on the up and up. It means blowing the whistle if you see corruption in your work place. It means not tolerating the exploitation of workers at home or abroad, where it is in your power to do something. It means being trustworthy. It means striving to be a Christian who doesn't make people want to vomit because of your general hypocrisy. It means being transparent. It means being a person that reflects the attractiveness of Jesus.

 

And this can be hard work. Because people know when other people are being real. Are you morally upright, or do you act that way on Sunday morning? Are you open about your struggles and your victories, or are you striving to be seen as the "good church girl," or as "wife material?" Are you living it or acting it?

 

What are the things in your life that you believe would qualify you as being a virtuous woman? Is it how often you attend church? Is it how busy you are "for God?" Or is it deeper than that?

 

Honestly, it is super easy to become a good church person. It becomes routine. You (and I) become lazy. Are we doing a bunch of bad things? Nah. Am I generally a moral person? Yes, I would say so. But am I daily striving to become a woman of virtue? Well.....occasionally. But mostly I rely on the fact that I am not doing bad or socially unacceptable things. I am fairly emotionally healthy, I go to work, I do a good job there, I don't steal, I don't do drugs or drink excessively. I have never killed anyone. You know, basic "my good outweighs my bad" type stuff.

 

However, we know that we are called to more. God calls all of our self-achieved righteousness "filthy rags!" So, that morally good rut that we are in all too often.....well, it has to go.

 

The virtue of Jesus was counter-cultural. It was radical and based in grace. It was not the things He did, but Who He was. That's what we need, too. We not only need to be covered in His righteousness, but to also examine the lives we live. Is it the day in, day out, churchy routine? Or are we radically changing our lives and actions to align with the virtues and principles that Jesus taught? Things like caring for the sick and poor and weak? Things like giving and alleviating and bringing hope?

 

This virtue calls for us to lay down our lives--our comfortable, church-going, seemingly good and morally upright lives--and then take it further, examining what we think and believe and asking, "Is this virtuous? Is this moral and ethical? Is this excellent and upright?"

 

Truly virtuous people are rare. Their price is far above rubies. I rather wonder now at my knowing any.

 

I am striving to be more aware of real virtue in my life. It has little to do with whether or not I am a good homemaker, or a good cook. I do not need to be great "wife material," for many are called to singleness. I do not need to be incredibly resourceful, or talented. Yes, God gives many of these things as gifts, but they do not create virtue. Virtue is so much more. It is living what you say you believe about who Jesus is. It is going against the grain and really living out your faith. It is choosing the ethical thing even when it is not the popular thing. It is hard work. It is sacrifice. And it has great value.