I wrote the words below about a year and a half ago. I hate my sporadic writing, and I always want to come back so strong and steady, but this is just me. Life gets crazy, and time flies by. Before you know it, it's been a year since you did the thing you meant to do. And then 2 years. I don't want to be that person....but I also don't want to be so unforgiving to myself. To hold myself to such high standards that I feel like I am failing all the time.
These words I wrote are still my exact sentiment and vision for my blog and any other writing I will do. I am tired of the wars amongst women. I am tired of always trying to figure out where I fit, and more often finding where I do not. I am tired of the lines drawn in the sand and the inability to relate to one another if our life's circumstances are not identical. As laid out in her life-altering (for me) book by my girl Sheryl Sandberg, it is indeed time for all of us to "lean in" and take a seat at the table. But while Sheryl speaks more to professional life, I would take that a step further and apply it to whole, full living. I want to lean in at home, at church, in the community, and yes, at work. I want a seat at the table not just to talk business (although I want that, too), but also to talk theology, and parenting, and social justice. More on leaning in later, cuz I love it. And now it's kind of an awesome catch phrase.
I stopped blogging last year because I got pregnant. Obviously one could blog while pregnant, but for me, the whole year felt so.....taken over by pregnancy, baby, and new mommyhood. It is so easy to just lose yourself in it. In a good way, and also in a bad way. I had no idea. What was the best year of my life was also a little like a time-warp, and I feel like I was not actively participating in much other than Googling "exactly what day will my baby bump start to show," and "top 100 things that could possibly go wrong in pregnancy, childbirth, and life in general."
I want to be back now; I want to be an active participant in my life. I don't want to put everything on hold until my kids are in kindergarten (and moms of kindergarteners everywhere are laughing at me now, poor fool that I am to think that life might slow down at that point). I want to exist strongly and not just tread water. (Which is totally what I feel like I am doing in case you got the idea from this post that I somehow have it together, haha!) I do not want to miss out on anything, I do not want it all to pass in a blur of late nights and poopy diapers. I want to cherish every moment of my son's life, but also mine. I want to live in my purpose. I'll be the big 3-0 this year, and I do not want to waste time not being who I am meant to be.
Without further ado.....below are the words I wrote before that still ring true to me today. I love this Proverbs woman. Sometimes I think my blog name is too churchy or will be a turnoff to some. But that is also why I want to keep it. To break down that stereotype of what "Biblical womanhood" really means. I look forward to being back and pray nothing hinders me (including my own lack of discipline) from writing this year with focus and purpose.
So.....it's been a while, yeah? Almost one year, to be exact.
I've been mulling over what I want to write for a while now. Almost one year, to be exact...
I've been thinking and reading other blogs, and considering what I want to be writing about. I've been thinking about my passion, and my education, and my goals. I've been thinking about where I go from here. In my life, not just my blog.
I love domestic things. I love reading blogs about couponing, and creating home management binders, and saving money, and sticking to a cleaning schedule, and cooking things.
I also love working, and feminism, and social justice, and discussions about poverty and politics and health and psychology.
And I really love theology and talking about who Jesus was and is, and how He operates. I love the controversial conversation that's happening in regard to the American church and Western Christianity.
And......good luck finding all of those things in one place. Which is ok, except for the fact that they all seem to be SO separated from each other! I can find a jillion blogs on home management. And I LOVE them. But a lot of times we don't speak the same language. I don't have kids, I'm not a homeschooler, I work full time, and I don't have nearly enough time to clean my house. And I can find great blogs on feminism and religion and theology and social justice. But I also want to talk about baking and organizing and I don't want to skip over those things. So, yeah, I get it....all blogs and books and articles can't be about all things and all interests.
BUT.
How about when all those genres aren't really respecting each other? What about when you have to choose between domesticity and theology? That's pretty uncool.
So, I guess this is my space to blend my interests. Because I get it- I get both "sides," of things.....I just don't like that there are sides. I'd rather have some solidarity.
I thought about changing the name of my blog, but I love it. I think our Proverbs 31 gal does blend a whole lot of things together- Jesus, feminism, business, working moms, domesticity, organization, money management. I like that about her. So I think she can stay. :)
