That's right- New Year's Resolutions!!! I love them. I usually way overreach and keep about half. Or less. But I actually do try. I have put a lot of thought into them over the years, and I really do take the time to review periodically throughout the year of said resolutions. So for those unscientific reasons, I consider myself something of an expert. Also, it has become tradition for me and my college best friend to debate the merits of having "vague" goals, such as "work out more" over specific and measurable goals, such as "work out daily," every year for the past 10 years. So, here's to year 11 of her husband and I ganging up to drive her insane with our vagueness! (Our argument is that we can look back and feel that we did a good job "being better" at something, without actually measuring it. It's a failing argument that won't sell any self- help books, but I'm sticking to my guns.)
She will be happy to know that I am going to try to be more specific this year. Mainly because I am going to try to stay accountable here on the blog. (Maybe one vague goal could be "try to stay accountable on the blog...")
Sometimes I even like to take a sacred day and pour over all of my old journals and resolution lists and think about how far I have come. (Yes, it's that serious for me.)
On a less neurotic and more serious note, I believe it really is good to look back. Some goals and dreams and plans that I had did not come to fruition that year. Or the next. Some took time, and a lot of it. Some things are an ongoing journey in my life. I am also able to identify patterns in my life and work on them in a more productive way.
For example, when I looked back one time over several past years of journals, I noticed that every year I would write, "Be more organized." Now, those who know me know that organization isn't exactly something that I struggle with. I'm pretty stinkin' attentive to detail and organization. Even when I am messy and neurotic, I am organized. What I was really dealing with was perfectionism. I was good, but I wanted to be way better. I wanted to not just be organized, but perfect. I wanted to have it together. The real goal needed to be to let go of perfectionism and use my gift of organization that I already had to live a more full life. (That's still vague, I know.)
So, anyway- it's good to remember where you've been. Not just to track progress on goals, but to keep you humble and compassionate. Looking back at goal lists always winds up leading to reading through those old journals. Oh yikes. The years between 17 and 27 were good years for me to keep a record. They do, indeed, remind me of where I have been. I have been depressed, and in bad relationships, and floundering. I have made terrible choices over and over. I have been a hot mess. And He has pulled me up. Set my feet on more solid ground. It's good to revisit those years from time to time. It reminds me not to be so frustrated with those who have not yet done the hard, painful work of healing and self-awareness. Those who have not yet allowed Him to change their choices, and patterns and neuroses. :) It's easy to lose sight of your past when you feel like you are doing well. It's also easy to forget that you didn't do it on your own by making awesome New Year's Resolutions. He has shown me grace and given me a hope and a future.
So....my goals will be announced in Part Two.:)
I'm so glad that we talked today, because it rekindled my fire to write an awesome list of clear-cut, attainable goals! ;) Also, I am very glad that we are not 18 anymore.
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