For me, this has been a crazy, crazy month. We've had out of state company, gone camping, been sick, been busy at work, and just plain tired. Sometimes I feel bad about not blogging more often, about all the things I'd like to...but I am trying to practice what I preach and cut myself some slack! I honestly feel like it's been an accomplishment this month to clean my bathroom a couple of times and change my sheets. Yikes. Ever have one of those months? I just keep thinking, "I don't even have kids yet!" Kudos to you that do.
Anyway, I am hoping I can slow down a tiny bit in October and share some more fun things like wrapping up our summer garden and sharing our newly decorated bathroom. For now, I am pushing through to the end of September, this series, and this giveaway! I hope it has been a small inspiration to some of you. I have tried to share what I need to hear and keep reminding myself! :)
This week, I want to talk about setting small goals.
I don't know about you, but I bite off more than I can chew. Like all the time. I have a thing for setting myself up for failure. I have a day off and plan to clean the whole house, do freezer cooking, all the laundry, grocery shopping, make crafts, blog, catch up on a show, read a book, work in the yard, and go get my hair cut. Because I am off work, so why shouldn't I be able to do all of that, right? (If only I could accomplish that much AT work.)
#1- What would you like to do better? ...Realistically....
I could answer "What would you like to do better?" quickly, with a super long list of 1,000 things that I beat myself up about every day. But, realistically? Well, that's a different story. That makes me ask myself if I am being honest about my time and energy. And I am sometimes delusional about my time and energy. When setting goals, it is important to live in the real world, where I work 40 hours a week, and have commitments other than my homemaking. It is important to draw on all of the things we have talked about so far: not comparing myself to others, especially those in a totally different situation than myself; choosing priorities; managing my time efficiently; and letting things go. Not easy. I like to just skip to the lofty goals and subsequent guilt, myself. :)
So, while my nature is to make goals like "Always have a clean house," and "Lose 20 pounds by Christmas," or "Have dinner on the table 20 minutes after I get in from work every day," I have to honestly evaluate my life first and be kind to myself. Being realistic helps foster a sense of accomplishment instead of failure, and produces results instead of guilt.
#2- Set 5 goals, or fewer, and break them down into bite sized pieces.
I say "or fewer," because I feel like 5 is probably realistic for me. If I had kids and still worked full time, I'd probably go with fewer. But, choose your number based on a realistic evaluation of your time and energy! Instead of having the goal of spring cleaning my entire home once a week, it would be better for me to choose to focus on lightly cleaning the house once a week, or focusing on one room a week. Using this example, if my goal is to lightly clean the house once a week, I should break that down into smaller goals. Perhaps I should do just the bathroom on Monday, and just the laundry on Thursday. If I am realistic, I can actually accomplish something. Too often, my plan of action is clean everything until I am exhausted and then be angry when it doesn't all get done. If I am being honest about my schedule, sometimes just getting the bathroom clean and some laundry done every week is awesome. But I struggle with being happy with just that, because I want to do it all, have it all, and be it all. This is where being honest with yourself and kind to yourself comes in.
No one, in my opinion, is better at articulating and teaching goal-setting than Crystal over at Money Saving Mom. She is really fantastic, and I hope you check her out. I learn so much from her posts about breaking large goals into bite sized pieces, and her continual encouragement.
#3- Reward your progress.
I don't know what that looks like for you. Not everyone can or should reward themselves with tangible things like a shopping trip or sweet treats. That can form some bad habits if you aren't careful! I have always been one of those weird people that is actually satisfied with the rewarding feeling of a job well done. If my whole list gets done, I feel a warm glow looking at my very highlighted page. It's lame, I know. However, I do not feel the same way if I had 10 things on the list, and I was only able to cross off two. But I should still find a sense of accomplishment in what I have completed. Now, I am not talking about lowering standards, making excuses, or celebrating mediocrity. I am talking about bringing our goals back down to reality and being proud of the hard work we do, instead of feeling guilty about not doing more and more. So reward your progress. I'm not saying do ten minutes of cleaning, and then reward yourself with three hours of TV. I am saying to recognize that you are making progress toward your goals. Did you keep your goal of cleaning the bathroom once a week this month? Instead of lamenting about how much you didn't get done, like the laundry and the dishes and the terrifying spare room (am I the only one that has one of those?), take 15 minutes and go for a walk. Pick up the book you've been wanting to finish and sit for a while. Like I've said before, be kind to yourself! Be proud of your daily successes and focus on the progress!
Do you struggle with setting realistic goals? What are some ways you celebrate your success and continue to get better?
I'll have to think of a good reward. Shopping always makes me feel guilty afterward, so it'a time to get creative!
ReplyDelete