The Working Girl's Guide, Week # 1: Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Sound familiar, anyone? 

Welcome to Week #1 of The Working Girl's Guide to Proverbs 31! My hope is that this series will be a motivation to you as a woman in the workforce who values her home life. Since I am the one writing, you'll hear a lot from my perspective: newly married, working full time, no kids. I am very aware that every situation is different! I also know that adding children to the mix of working and homemaking is a whole new ballgame- I have tons of respect for you ladies "doing it all,"  and I hope you share your comments and perspectives with the rest of us! So, this is just me, sharing what I know and have learned about working while trying my hardest to keep up with the domestic side of life. I hope there is something written today that encourages someone else! Without further ado....

Cut yourself some slack! 

 

The cartoon above says it all! I really feel that way a lot of the time. I either get cranky that so much is expected of me (from whom, I am not sure), or down on myself that I'm not doing better. When my kitchen is dirty, and there is laundry all over the floor of my bedroom, and I just don't feel like cooking dinner because I have had a long day- I judge myself as a woman. I measure myself by my own unrealistic standard (usually the standard in that cartoon!). And I come up short. Every. Single. Time. Ever feel this way? 

#1- Homemaking is important. 

I believe in making your home a priority. When I say to cut yourself some slack, I don't mean that it's ok to just not care about your home because you are busy with other things. I think that being a keeper of the home is a calling for women, regardless of where you spend  40 hours a week. I know that may sound old-fashioned to some people, but it's what I think. Homemaking skills are not something magically acquired when you become a wife. In fact, the priority of homemaking is not just for wives and mothers! It's also for the younger girls, the single girls, the college dorm girls, and every other stage of life. Maybe you don't feel this way, that keeping your home is a calling. Maybe you're just here for some tips or a quick read- that's ok, too. But from my heart I want to share with you that as women, we set the tone for our home. Our space and the way we keep it is a reflection of us. We have a choice to build it up with care, attention, and skill, or to tear it down with negligence and apathy. So what's a girl to do when she doesn't stay at home all day? It's easy not to care sometimes. But if you are looking to find balance, I hope we can learn together for the next few weeks!

 

#2- What's out there for us?

If you're like me (and you just might be,  since you found this blog), you know that most homemaking blogs out there, awesome as they are, are geared toward the stay at home mom. Which is great, unless you don't stay home. Or you're not a mom. I can't tell you how many countless recipes and tips and inspiring articles I've read on some really great sites. But I'd love to see how to balance some of those great ideas with a full time job. My blog is named The Modern Girl's Guide to Proverbs 31 because I seriously love that woman. She is the epitome of balancing a family, a household staff, cooking, creating, selling, sewing, and child rearing. She also runs more than one business! I love that! I wish she had a blog. :) I will have to just keep reading her chapter. But why am I bringing up the lack of blog reading for working ladies? Because.....

 

#3- Comparison is the thief of joy.

The cartoon exaggerates about the ideal that a woman should live up to. But don't we do that to ourselves? We compare ourselves to what's out there, instead of realizing that our situation is different. For example, I love reading all the wonderful blogs out there about cooking from scratch with whole foods, and gardening, and home decorating, and cleaning, and crafting, and being a keeper of your home. However, I started really getting down about all that I didn't do. I eat bread from the grocery store. My floor is not always very clean. I want to organize and decorate more often, but my evenings are cut short by my husband's and my work schedules. I had to step back and realize that I am not a stay at home mother. I know that should be obvious, but I really have to remind myself that I am not the same as someone else. My life is not the same. Now I am not suggesting that stay at home wives or mothers have all the time in the world on their hands. Because right now, we're not even really talking about time; we're talking about priorities. And the women I was comparing myself to had made a choice to have their home be their full time priority. I have not. So what I need to learn is first to stop comparing apples and oranges, and then to focus on balance instead of perfection. Make sense?

 

So, ladies, don't hold yourself to some crazy standard. Stop comparing your home to another woman's home. This is your life. And whether you love your job and want to continue to work forever, or your goal is to be able to stay at home- cut yourself some slack today!