Yeah...I'm not one of those girls.
Instead I find that I draw strength from female relationships. I love them! I wish I had more and more time for them. It's not that I find women drama free or that I can always relate. I wouldn't say I have always had a ton of gal pals or anything like that. I'm not always surrounded by friends, and I wasn't incredibly popular as a teen. A few might even be surprised to hear how much I value my relationships with other women! In fact, so often I find myself thinking it's more trouble than it's worth to try to get to know other ladies, especially on a more intimate level. A level that goes deeper, goes beyond the superficial chit chat.
But, I am reminded often of the strength found in a community of women. I have been blessed to always have had a best friend, through every stage of life. I have been surrounded by women my entire life, and my family is very matriarchal. There is something special about the wisdom of womanhood and I am honored to be female. While I fight hard for equality of gender, I also find value in the differences between men and women. I celebrate what makes us women.
This week has reinforced my thankfulness for the community of women that I find myself a part of. From friends, co-workers, bosses, sisters, mothers, aunts, mentors and community leaders...they have made me who I am and will shape who I am becoming.
This weekend, I was blessed to be able to spend time with two young ladies that I have worked with in the past, and continue to have the opportunity to be involved with as they become women and mothers. I am grateful to be able to help bear their burdens and share their joys.
I was also able to be a part of a training introducing me to how Strip Church works, and got to meet a new group of ladies that I will get the opportunity to pray and minister with as we reach out to other women.
When I am tired and stressed....when I feel like I can't relate to the females in my life.....when I feel out of place...when I feel like I am not the "right" kind of woman....He sends women into my life that inspire and uplift me. Whether it is my boss modeling the kind of businesswoman I strive to be, or a new friend teaching a training on getting into a strip club to share the love of Christ, or my best friend sharing her recent birth story and telling me there is nothing to be afraid of when it is my turn, they all make up a beautiful network of encouragement.
I am thankful for the frustrating, comforting, empowering relationships of women. I value the strength I draw from them, and look forward to teaching my someday daughters to do the same.
It's something that I want to get better at--cultivating relationships with other women, that is. As I get older it's harder to do. It's harder to make time, to reach across different life stages, to really invest yourself in people outside of your family. But to me, it's necessary. These are the relationships that guide us. I think of how in other people groups, other cultures, other times, the women all cooked together and worked together. They delivered the babies and they raised children together. As thankful as I am to be in a culture of freedom and independence and choice, I know I don't want to lose that special bond that women can share. This is what I think about when I hear the verse about the older women teaching the younger ones. Let's not interpret that as older women keeping younger ladies in the church "in line," or criticizing them, but instead of building relationships. Of passing on a torch of sacred female wisdom.
So, if you are older, reach out to the younger women. This is meant for you, regardless of your age. Like I said, I spent my weekend bonding with younger ladies.....and I'm definitely not ready to think of myself as one of the "older women" in the church! But I do have something to share with girls who are in a stage of life that I was in only a few years ago. And if you are young, seek out those older women! It's so awesome to be able to find a mentor that you can lean on, and someone who can tell you the truth about yourself. It sharpens and matures you. These are invaluable relationships to have.
If you are someone who does not usually gravitate toward genuine relationships with other women, consider giving it more of a chance. You don't have to shy away from female friendships even if you don't think you can relate to a lot of women. I get that. Maybe you don't have kids, or don't even want them. Maybe you are very career minded but most of the ladies you know are stay at home moms. That can be tough....but seek out a friendship that you could be compatible with. You don't have to do a bunch of activities that are traditionally defined as feminine. I sometimes cringe when the ladies' groups at churches constantly include crafts. Not everyone likes that stuff, and may feel way out of place if that's all that's offered for ladies to bond over! (But that's a post for another day...) If that's not you, don't worry about it. Find a friendship that fits for you. The point is to draw and give strength and support, not to feel judged or misfit.
What about you? Do you typically revel in relationships with other women, or do you shy away?
No comments:
Post a Comment