Proverbs 31:31- "Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."
I believe this is about confidence.
Just a thought today....
What are you afraid of doing because people might not like it? I'm not talking about standing up for what's right, or something deep like that. I'm talking about being afraid of not getting approval. Of someone not thinking that something you like/made/worked on/created is awesome.
This lady "perceives that her merchandise it good." It doesn't say, "She asked everybody if they thought her merchandise was good and then still didn't sell it at the market for a while because her mother-in-law hated it, but then finally decided to open a small booth, but still pretended to hate all of her work to fish for compliments." Come on, you know what I'm talking about.
We hesitate to show people "the work of our hands," as Proverbs 31 puts it. We tend to be critical of our creations. Often it's not because we truly feel critical of our works. On the contrary, we may be quite proud! But we like the bolstering of other people loving what we do or make or present. We are creating opportunities for others to say "No, really, it looks great! You are so creative! I wish I was just like you! I don't know how you do it!" You get the picture.
We need people to tell us we are fantastic. She didn't.
Wow.....this one is really hitting home with me, even as I type it! I'm even wondering if anyone will like this post! We downplay our gifts, thinking that if we just say, "Thank you, I think they turned out pretty well, too," that we are prideful. It's something we've been taught. Not to "lift ourselves up."
Newsflash: We still are!!!!! False modesty is just as bad as being a show off. I don't think we even intentionally do it. I think it is deeply ingrained in many Christians not to be proud of our work or accomplishments.
But, as always with God, it is about balance. We don't need to whip up the best possible crafts or cooking and then snottily show all the other ladies what you can do and they can't. (Isn't that what we feel like we're doing sometimes when we receive a compliment?) We also don't need to pretend that we don't think what we just made is pretty awesome/delicious/beautiful.
There is an in- between answer for this:
1. Giving God the glory and thanks for creating you with certain gifts and talents.
2. Recognizing the gifts and talents in others and building them up.
3. Being willing to use those gifts and talents for the work He calls you to. Because, after all, that is why you have them- not just to benefit yourself!
The Proverbs 31 Woman recognized her talent. She believed it would be profitable, and that others would find her work pleasing. She went right to work on it, making and selling her items. Simple as that.
She let her own works praise her. She did not lift herself up OR put herself down in order to receive praise. Also, simple as that.
Yikes. In what ways do you bring in your own praise? Or what things are you timid about showing people because they might not think it's very good? Can you accept either compliments or criticism about your work? Both can be really hard to do, while having a balanced attitude.
Some of it is in our speech. We have fall-back answers like, "I guess so; these cookies really aren't my favorite." "Well, I burned the first batch." "I'm still not happy with how this turned out." "Really? You're sure it's ok?" "I might just throw it away and start over." We are fishing. We want the responses of: "No, REALLY! I love it! Don't throw it out! It's so good! I like it! You are talented/beautiful/amazing/the best cook in the whole entire world!" (Is this stepping on anyone's toes but my own!?)
Let's change our speech. I'm not saying let's go to the other extreme, or to conjure up some super-spiritual answers like, "Oh, it's none of my own work, just the Lord working in me to create these meager cookies." :)
But let's have confidence in the abilities that God did give us, and be honest about our shortcomings. Try to add these to your speech:
"Thank you, I'd be happy to share the recipe. Maybe you could bring me your recipe for what you brought!"
"I had a lot of fun making this."
"I appreciate the compliment!"
Or, if what you created doesn't come up in conversation, guess what? You don't even need to bring it up! Don't bother with things like, "Is the meatloaf ok? I'm pretty sure I burned it." Just allow people the chance to be gracious to you if you did burn it, and complimentary (or *gasp*) indifferent, if you didn't.
This is a struggle for many of us, maybe not to the extreme, but in some aspect. There are people who do this so much, and who are so insecure that this drives us crazy. But we all have it at least a little bit. Maybe you even sound like you are balanced, but in your heart, you are really hoping that someone will recognize what you've done.
Let's take the lead from Proverbs and just be enthusiastic about our creativity and talent. Let's not put ourselves down, or lift ourselves up, or seek approval. Let's just get to work on whatever it is we are excited about. Your own works will praise you in the gates. And the truth is, even if your actual product isn't that good...no one can resist a balanced and enthusiastic attitude! Others enjoy someone who can receive compliments or criticism. And so your work will still praise you in the gate, even if it's not perfect! Isn't that a crazy thought? :)
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